This is very funny.
Enjoy!
The class was very noisy just now because there wasn't any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet. That is because the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class. Her face is as fierce as a lion which will bite anyone's head off if offended... And if you wanna know more.... follow the lesson.>>>
Students: Good morning, teacher.
>>Teacher : (shouting) Why is it only good morning? What about afternoon and night?
>>Students: Good morning, afternoon and night teacher!
>>Teacher : That is unacceptable! It is too long. Just wish me best>regards for my whole day! That is much better as it is easier and full of meaning. And that greeting can also be used for all times.
>>Students: Best regards teacher!
>>Teacher : That's better, sit down! Listen today I'm going to test you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite meaning to the words,understand?
>>Students: Understood teacher!
>>Teacher : I do not want any disturbance!
>>Students: (silence)>>
Teacher : Clever!
>>Students: Stupid!
>>Teacher : High!
>>Students: Low!>>
Teacher : Popular!
>>Students: Calafare!
>>Teacher : Wrong!
>>Students: Correct!
>>Teacher : Stupid!
>>Students: Clever!
>>Teacher : No!
>>Students: Yes!
>>Teacher : Oh God!
>>Students: Oh Slave!
>>Teacher : Listen to this!
>>Students: Listen to that!
>>Teacher : Quiet
Students: Noisy!
>>Teacher : That's not a question, stupid!
>>Students: This is an answer, clever!
>>Teacher : I'm dead
Students: We're alive!
>>Teacher : I'm lazy to teach!
>>Students: We are hardworking to learn!
>>Teacher : Enough! Enough!
>>Students: More! More!
>>Teacher : Stop! Stop!
>>Students: Start! Start
!>>Teacher : Why are you people so stupid?!
>>Students: Because I am someone clever!
>>Teacher : Lack manners!
>>Students : Enough manners!
>>Teacher : O.K. Lesson has ended!
>>Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
>>Teacher : Enough, stupid!
>>Students: Not yet, clever!
>>Teacher : Stand up!
>>Students: Sit down!
>>Teacher : I said CALAFARE was wrong!
>>Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
>>Teacher : You people are dumb!
>>Students: We are gifted!
>>Teacher : All of you must stay back this afternoon
Students: Released tonight!
>>Teacher : (Keep quiet, gather her books and went out)>^^
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Final destination 4??
This is a story that i wrote based on the continuous question for the PSLE compo this yr. this is a story, never write this for compo unless u wanna get a 0/40..... without the visiting friend bit of coz.......and its supposed to be in present tense......
Final Destination 5??
"Hurry up Jade!! The train has already arrived!" my friend, Roxxi, exclaims.
"Coming," I say.
We run down the escalator and manage to catch the train destined for Harbourfront in time. Since the train is not packed with commuters, both Roxxi and I quickly find ourselves each a seat and settle down in the second last carriage of the train. As we do not have much to talk about, soon, I nod off.......
Suddenly, the train jerks and then stops. The lights flicker on and off. The passengers on board the train stop talking loudly and look around some are cursing and swearing, while others look worried. Although i cannot see Roxxi in this dim light, i can feel her gripping onto her plastic chair tightly. I can feel her tension. I now i am very afraid deep down, but I try to stay calm-telling myself that this is just another ordinary drill.
Minutes later, I am still not convinced even though it is I that is telling myself that it is not real. The train hasn't started moving yet and the commuters are all talking amongst themselves. I turn to look at Roxxi and she looks as frightened as a mouse and she is sweating. She turns to look at me too. She smiles feebly but both of us are way too frightened to say a word to each other. I am sweating now.
All of a sudden, we see some bright orange-yellow light, most likely from another train. Thinking that the train would definitely notice us, the passengers don't really care. However, as it starts moving nearer and nearer to our train, it doesn't stop. If it does not stop, any moment now, it can crash into us. We scream at it to stop, but it doesn't. Like as if it is a dream, that train crashes into us. It goes right into the last carriage of our train before anyone can react. Straight away, all of the passengers get up onto our feet and start running us fast as we can into the middle of the train. Then out of a sudden, our train starts moving forward and out of the tunnel. However, we forget that the train behind us is still moving very fast, smashing right though our train. To our relief, we get out of the tunnel we are in and are out onto open tracks.
The train behind us has stopped. Roxxi heaves a sigh of relief, I go stiff, as little did we realize that all the metal plates of the smashed carriages are flying towards us as we are going at a very high speed. The train is disconnected.
We are in serious danger.
"We gotta jump onto that platform!" Roxxi shouts
.We all look at her as if she belongs in a mental asylum.
The metal plates and strong gusts of wind are making all the passengers screaming. We take cover under the plastic seats, not that it would actually help. A sharp metal plate slashes my hand slightly. I scream in pain.
"Jade!! Oh my God!!" Roxxi shrieks,"Come on, we have to jump!"
By now, we've all started to agree with her. One by one, all the passengers jump off the train-cautiously. After all of us have gotten off the train, the train starts moving at a very, very high speed. All of us women scream, wondering why the driver wont stop.
Almost immediately, the train that once looked new, now shredding. all the metal pieces had fallen apart and now it is flying at us. Like a drama, they fly at everyone, including Roxxi and they are all so sharp. One metal piece flies at me-I dodge. Phew, i think, that was close. We get onto our knees and start to crawl to the entrance in the tunnel since it isn't far. The sharp metal piece hits Roxxi on her back.
"Roxxi!" I cry. i am so tempted to help her, but i know that saving my own life is more important.i carry on, silently bidding Roxxi farewell. Unbelievably, there are more metal pieces, hitting people one by one-it as if it is a dream, a horrific one. Strangely, none of them hit me. Its as if im just too lucky. As I get into the tunnel, i realise I am the only survivor of this disaster. Only, i have totally forgotten about the other train that was behind our train. I am so exhausted that i accidentally fall onto the tracks, thinking that it will be alright. Suddenly, the train, like as if the wheels had been rubbed by vaseline, speeds up to me. I scream and sit up. Im too tired to move i just stay there.....
I jolt.
"Hey, Jade, you ok?? you were screaming just now" Roxxi says,"Is it one of those dreams again?"
I nod.
And then, suddenly, the train jerks and stops. The lights flicker on and off.
You can NEVER escape death..........
Final Destination 5??
"Hurry up Jade!! The train has already arrived!" my friend, Roxxi, exclaims.
"Coming," I say.
We run down the escalator and manage to catch the train destined for Harbourfront in time. Since the train is not packed with commuters, both Roxxi and I quickly find ourselves each a seat and settle down in the second last carriage of the train. As we do not have much to talk about, soon, I nod off.......
Suddenly, the train jerks and then stops. The lights flicker on and off. The passengers on board the train stop talking loudly and look around some are cursing and swearing, while others look worried. Although i cannot see Roxxi in this dim light, i can feel her gripping onto her plastic chair tightly. I can feel her tension. I now i am very afraid deep down, but I try to stay calm-telling myself that this is just another ordinary drill.
Minutes later, I am still not convinced even though it is I that is telling myself that it is not real. The train hasn't started moving yet and the commuters are all talking amongst themselves. I turn to look at Roxxi and she looks as frightened as a mouse and she is sweating. She turns to look at me too. She smiles feebly but both of us are way too frightened to say a word to each other. I am sweating now.
All of a sudden, we see some bright orange-yellow light, most likely from another train. Thinking that the train would definitely notice us, the passengers don't really care. However, as it starts moving nearer and nearer to our train, it doesn't stop. If it does not stop, any moment now, it can crash into us. We scream at it to stop, but it doesn't. Like as if it is a dream, that train crashes into us. It goes right into the last carriage of our train before anyone can react. Straight away, all of the passengers get up onto our feet and start running us fast as we can into the middle of the train. Then out of a sudden, our train starts moving forward and out of the tunnel. However, we forget that the train behind us is still moving very fast, smashing right though our train. To our relief, we get out of the tunnel we are in and are out onto open tracks.
The train behind us has stopped. Roxxi heaves a sigh of relief, I go stiff, as little did we realize that all the metal plates of the smashed carriages are flying towards us as we are going at a very high speed. The train is disconnected.
We are in serious danger.
"We gotta jump onto that platform!" Roxxi shouts
.We all look at her as if she belongs in a mental asylum.
The metal plates and strong gusts of wind are making all the passengers screaming. We take cover under the plastic seats, not that it would actually help. A sharp metal plate slashes my hand slightly. I scream in pain.
"Jade!! Oh my God!!" Roxxi shrieks,"Come on, we have to jump!"
By now, we've all started to agree with her. One by one, all the passengers jump off the train-cautiously. After all of us have gotten off the train, the train starts moving at a very, very high speed. All of us women scream, wondering why the driver wont stop.
Almost immediately, the train that once looked new, now shredding. all the metal pieces had fallen apart and now it is flying at us. Like a drama, they fly at everyone, including Roxxi and they are all so sharp. One metal piece flies at me-I dodge. Phew, i think, that was close. We get onto our knees and start to crawl to the entrance in the tunnel since it isn't far. The sharp metal piece hits Roxxi on her back.
"Roxxi!" I cry. i am so tempted to help her, but i know that saving my own life is more important.i carry on, silently bidding Roxxi farewell. Unbelievably, there are more metal pieces, hitting people one by one-it as if it is a dream, a horrific one. Strangely, none of them hit me. Its as if im just too lucky. As I get into the tunnel, i realise I am the only survivor of this disaster. Only, i have totally forgotten about the other train that was behind our train. I am so exhausted that i accidentally fall onto the tracks, thinking that it will be alright. Suddenly, the train, like as if the wheels had been rubbed by vaseline, speeds up to me. I scream and sit up. Im too tired to move i just stay there.....
I jolt.
"Hey, Jade, you ok?? you were screaming just now" Roxxi says,"Is it one of those dreams again?"
I nod.
And then, suddenly, the train jerks and stops. The lights flicker on and off.
You can NEVER escape death..........
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Good or bad, hard to say
This is something to ponder .... A powerful message behind a simple story!
Read on ..
Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice.Therefore the king took him along wherever he went. One day, the king was bitten by a dog, his finger was injured and the wound was getting worse.
He asked the follower if that was a bad sign.
The follower said, 'Good or bad, hard to say'.
In the end, the finger of the king was too bad that it had to be cut.
The king asked the follower again if that was a bad sign.
Again, the follower gave the same answer, 'Good or bad, hard to say'.
The king became very angry and sent the follower to prison.
One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. In the end he found himself lost in the jungle. To make thing worse, he got captured by the native people living inside the jungle. They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger short, they released him immediately as he was not a perfect man anymore and not suitable for sacrifice.
The king managed to get back to his palace after all. And he finally understood the follower's wise quote, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. If he hadn't lost one finger, he could have been killed by the native people.
He ordered the release of the follower, and apologized to him. But to the king's amazement, the follower was not mad at him at all. Instead, the follower said, 'It wasn't a bad thing that you locked me up.'
Why? Because if the king hadn't locked the follower up, he would have brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used the follower.
Again, the quote 'Good or bad, hard to say' stands.
The moral of the story :
In everything that happens in this world, there is no absolute good or bad.
Sometimes good things turn out to be bad things eventually, while bad things become a gain. Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it, but don't have to hold too tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life. Whatever bad things happen to you, don't have to feel too sad or in despair, in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all. If one can understand this, he or she will find life much easier.
Read on ..
Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice.Therefore the king took him along wherever he went. One day, the king was bitten by a dog, his finger was injured and the wound was getting worse.
He asked the follower if that was a bad sign.
The follower said, 'Good or bad, hard to say'.
In the end, the finger of the king was too bad that it had to be cut.
The king asked the follower again if that was a bad sign.
Again, the follower gave the same answer, 'Good or bad, hard to say'.
The king became very angry and sent the follower to prison.
One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. In the end he found himself lost in the jungle. To make thing worse, he got captured by the native people living inside the jungle. They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger short, they released him immediately as he was not a perfect man anymore and not suitable for sacrifice.
The king managed to get back to his palace after all. And he finally understood the follower's wise quote, 'Good or bad, hard to say'. If he hadn't lost one finger, he could have been killed by the native people.
He ordered the release of the follower, and apologized to him. But to the king's amazement, the follower was not mad at him at all. Instead, the follower said, 'It wasn't a bad thing that you locked me up.'
Why? Because if the king hadn't locked the follower up, he would have brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used the follower.
Again, the quote 'Good or bad, hard to say' stands.
The moral of the story :
In everything that happens in this world, there is no absolute good or bad.
Sometimes good things turn out to be bad things eventually, while bad things become a gain. Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it, but don't have to hold too tight to it, treat it as a surprise in your life. Whatever bad things happen to you, don't have to feel too sad or in despair, in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all. If one can understand this, he or she will find life much easier.
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